On a Marriage Retreat

We were invited to join in on a marriage retreat this weekend hosted by co-workers from Nick’s counseling firm. So we headed up to the middle of the nowhere, around misty lakes in the early morning and windy, wooded roads to Camp Lutherhaven.


It was our first marriage retreat. And since I’m married to a pastoral/clinical counselor, I’m guessing it won’t be our last. It did prove to be a good time for us to get away, have some intentional conversations about our marriage. We also enjoyed getting to interact with some new couples, several of whom are also counselors at Nick’s organization.


So what did we learn about our marriage? 

If you know us, we LOVE talking about personality types – and are always looking for new tests and ways to hash out similarities and differences.  We took a basic personality test at the retreat based on four colors (similar to the “animal personalities”). Then, we broke into groups to create a poster describing the things that are most important for our dominate feature.


As you can gather from our two (very different) finished products… we process things a little differently.

Nick works in abstract ideas, runs them through a system to analyze, process and communicate a thought. I on the other hand was part of the bottom poster… swirly, colorful, HIGHLY relationship driven and interweaving past, present and future into every interaction. Thankfully, the relational section was second on Nick’s hierarchy of personality types, so we can still communicate without totally passing each other in the dark. 🙂

The conversations around the table about that were pretty great. We laugh, because we all fail to communicate with our spouses sometimes in a way that translates well. And while miscommunications are a reality we’ll face, they’re also something we can avoid as we learn how each other thinks.


I think we’d both safely say that any time spent focusing on each other and your marriage is well worth the effort. What an amazing journey that we’re privileged to travel… together.

Step by Step,

Amber - signature


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